One day as I was searching for a self-help type of movie, I ran into the movie Anger Management. It caught my interest a bit but I didn’t know how helpful It would really be, considering it was a comedy starring the one and only, Adam Sandler. But boy was I wrong to think a comedy movie couldn’t carry a real topic we are all too familiar with; Passive aggressiveness and expressing our anger.
What is anger?
According to dictionary.com anger is “a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong”. In short, anger is a human emotion that comes up when we feel we have been wronged. Now why is it that a lot of people say anger is bad? Well, Saying anger is bad is like saying that eating a twinkie (American Snack Cake) is unhealthy. Are they both bad? My answer is, it depends. Anger can be bad in the sense that it is unhealthy to walk around angry all day, every day; just like walking around eating twinkies all day everyday can be unhealthy. But a lot of people might think anger is bad, due to the fact that we can hurt the people around us. This is where the movie Anger Management comes in. (If you haven’t seen the movie, I recommend you go watch it so you can get a better sense of what I’m talking about)
Anger is one of those things we all express according to how we were raised, and we all have our own stories. For example, while being raised in a christian environment, I was taught that anger was an emotion that the devil put in people’s heart’s and if you felt anger (and God forbid express it) then you were a sinner and needed to pray for forgiveness. As you can probably guess, I quickly realized that I needed to find an outlet where I could pour out all my emotions. For me that outlet happened to be porn and masturbation.
The movie Anger Management is based on a guy who goes through life being implosively angry. Now let me clarify implosive anger with a quote from the movie:
“There are two kinds of angry people in this world: explosive and implosive. Explosive is the kind of individual you see screaming at the cashier for not taking their coupons. Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and finally shoots everyone in the store. You’re the cashier.”
I say its safe to stay in the middle. There are times when we have to open our mouths and say what we think, and it may be ugly, but its necessary. There is also a line that you don’t want to cross with that either. Implosive anger is dangerous, because keeping anger locked inside can make you a resentful person, and it can come out in passive aggressive ways. Many suffering from this problem eventually turn to other outlets to relive themselves, and sadly many end up addicted later in life.
How do I express my anger?
For explosively angry people, try getting your message across without offending anyone. Anger is good, but you have to be careful as it can get the best of us. For implosively angry people, what I took from a chef named Gordon Ramsey, who is not one to hold anything back, is a technique that helps you get your anger out. For this you have to be somewhere by yourself; I do this in my car. Who ever or what ever your mad about, just scream at the top of your lungs and say what ever it is you feel come out from deep inside you! This will help you learn to get in touch with expressing your thoughts about a person. And the secret is not to hold back. It can range from an AHHHH! to an I HATE YOU BOB FOR TAKING MY BOOK! What ever it is, name the person/problem and express how you FEEL about them/it.
The first time might be you sitting in a car, looking around, and going ah! and quickly turning around to see if anyone is staring at you, but that’s normal. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll be doing it driving home from school or work, and I promise you, it feels liberating! Please try this at least once! I do this from time to time when I’m stressed out and even punch the seat next to me. It helps me keep everything down. After, you can go home and drink a cup of tea, or hit the gym, or go for a walk or take a nap. You will feel in control of your own emotions for the fist time. You will feel free, and that’s the point. The more you can push out, the less pressure builds up inside you. This will save you many passive aggressive moments and relapses.
None of the images I used on this post are mine